Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Sleep Typing

You know, this birthday came and passed, and really, it doesn't feel like it actually came. Yes, I got gifts, I got a couple of Happy Birthdays, but in reality, it's just time passing, isn't it? I've been 22 for two weeks now, and in those last two weeks more has happened than I really know what to do with. My mom went in for her fourth biopsy yesterday, and she'll get the news tomorrow about the same thing that killed her mom; whether or not it's benign. Then we'll know whether or not we can afford a surgery that my father has been putting off for far too long now.
I don't say all these things for sympathy, or attention, but rather, it's more a way of actually getting it out without having to share it with the whole world.

I guess my thought process is that this life is way more fleeting than we realize. A good friend of mine once made a list of the things she wanted to do before she died (of course, she was actually faced with a visible possibility of death). She even went to a Jewish camp because being a camp counselor was on her list (probably one of the mose hilarious stories I have EVER heard). My father has always wanted to publish a book. He's 68 years old, and still has not completed this task. I don't want to put off the things that I really want to do in life just because I think I can do them later in life.

It's late, I should be getting to bed. It's been a long day. Brit, I love you, thanks for talking to me about everything tonight. I don't think you realize this, but you happen to be one of the most inspiring Christian women that I know. I don't think you realize how significant an example you set for the other ladies around you. Maybe that will be what turns us around in our darkest time. Thanks for being such an awesome friend. I am going to miss you SO much when you go to Jordan.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

A Random String of Thought Processes

I am extremely burned.

I mean, really burned.

No, this is not a parallel to some emotional distress that I may be under. What I mean by this is that Brazilian, olive-tone skin that I claim never gets burned is, in fact, burned.

I'm sitting on my bed in a very awkward fashion in an attempt to avoid rubbing my skin against the sheets of my bed. It hurts. a lot.

I'm listening to my 90's playlist right now... whatever happened to really good lyrics like the ones found in Jewel's "hands," and Alanis Morisette's "ironic?"

Ever wonder what Jewel's last name is? It's Kilcher... not that bad... wonder why she goes by just Jewel...

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Because God Wills it!

Did you know that God's will for your life affects more than your life? Are you grasping this concept? This means that there is actually a lot more at stake when you choose to follow a path that does not glorify God. This is not to say that you should feel burdened by a task that you may or may not know will impact the entire world. This does not mean that you should feel entitled to the glory that belongs to God and God alone. No, this simply means that every choice you make that does not align with His best for your life impacts so many more.

There is a scene in the movie Kingdom of Heaven in which the Christian crusaders exclaim that the unjustified death that they are inflicting upon the Muslims is being inflicted because "God wills it!" This had me thinking, who are we to claim the will of God for another man? Also, when we realize the purpose and calling of our lives to the work of the Lord, what happens when we do not follow through with that work? Who suffers when we deny the cross? Who suffers when we choose the World over the Word? What is the aftermath of what we do and do not claim as "the will of God."

There is another scene, in the same movie, when the man appointed to defend Jerusalem surrenders the city to the Muslims. He then says "if Jerusalem is truly the Kingdom of Heaven, then let God do with it as He wills." Now, this had me thinking, if we just surrendered our lives and said the exact same thing about our "paths," or "callings," would he not guide us in the way of His will?

Why do we so often use the will of God as grounds for our own desires and inconsistent decisions? Why do we also hide behind the will of God; why do we use it as an excuse for sloth?

What if we didn't use it as grounds for what we want, or a shield to defend us from the things that we do not? What if we just simply said: "Here am I, do with me as You will."?